


Rockstar Jensen

by Secretfurrydragon



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anger, Attempted Suicide, Caring, Comfort, Crying, Depression, Different POV’s, Drug Use, Explicit Coarse Language, F/M, Harry is an douchebag, Heavy Drinking, Humour, Jensen’s an asshat, Loneliness, Lost Hope, Overdose, Pain, Prostitution, Reader hurt by Jensen, Reader saves Jensen’s life, Sadness, Support, drug deal, end his pain, wanted to die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-04 20:04:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16353368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secretfurrydragon/pseuds/Secretfurrydragon
Summary: Jensen has the world at his feet so why does he try to end his life. Can he be saved or is it to late for him?Please be aware there is a suicide attempt in this story.





	Rockstar Jensen

**Author's Note:**

> Jensen tries to commit suicide can he be saved or is it too late? 
> 
>    
> Warnings: Jensen does try to commit suicide, explicit coarse language. Please read other warnings above. 
> 
> I wrote this awhile ago and I wasn’t going to post it but I decided too. We need people to be aware of suicide and depression and how it effects a person. I have depression and severe anxiety so I wanted to write this so people can relate to how Jensen is feeling.
> 
> I know Jensen would never do this but it’s only for the purpose of my story. I love Jensen and wish him all the happiness in the world. Please don’t hate me for this story. 
> 
> Please do not read your health is more important than my story. Please take care of yourself first.
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes my own. 
> 
> Comment welcome and encouraged. Please be kind with your comments.

Rockstar Jensen what can I say his voice is magical it's one no one would be able to match ever. He is a very talented man. He loves been on stage and singing to millions of people. He loves the adrenaline rush he gets from performing in front of a live audience. His album is number 2 on the charts and is set to go number one and Gold. He had the world at his feet why is it he feels so alone. He looks at all the awards and pictures but he's never felt so alone he wanted someone to care about. Someone he could love unconditionally and be there for him.

He knows it's selfish to want that but he's barely hanging on with a thread. His lonely and lost sure he has a million fans out there who love and adore him but it's all a front they love rockstar Jensen not just plain old Jensen. He wipes a tear that had slipped out of his eye as he gulps down another drink his only friend is Jack, as in Jack Daniels. He will drink to much and pass out soon into a dreamless oblivion. Where there is no pain or loneliness. He's happy when that happens as he finally doesn't have to worry about his life. Yes he knows his only 29 years old and there's still time to find the one but he's just about to give up hope.

How wrong can he be the answer to all his prays is just about to walk into his life. Will he see her for who she is or not. She is the only one that can save him from himself. He had been drinking and was on his fourth bottle of Jack and he took a bottle of painkillers it was intentional as he’s lying there waiting for the end. He could hear the fans crying over the lost of their beloved rockstar. The pain was unbearable as he sat there thinking of a single person that would miss him in his life. What was sad was he thought of no one at all. He had no one as he starts to drift into an oblivion and he hopes not to wake from.

 

Reader’s POV

He is almost unconscious when there was a knock at his door. “Mr Ackles, are you there?” I called out.

I received no answer so I open the door. “Housekeeping Mr Ackles.”

Still I got no reply as I walk in and I see him barely conscious on his bed the room was a mess. He had clothes scattered everywhere and multiple alcohol bottles lying all over the floor. I run over to him and said, “Mr Ackles,” he tries to focus his eyes on me and he smiles and slurs out, “Are you an Angel?” As he passes out, I look around and see the empty bottle of pills lying next to him.

I slapped his face as he groaned as I try to pull his heavy 6 feet body off the bed. He lands heavily on the floor as I had to get him to the shower and get him to wake up.

I drag his body as my small frame would allow a few inches at a time. I was heaving and out of breath as I pulled him. I was sweating as it poured off my face. I knew I should get some help but I also knew Mr Ackles was famous and probably didn't want this getting out.

So I continued to drag his body until I finally reached the bathroom. He stirred for a second as he looks at me, my hair's a mess and falling over my face. He tries to grab hold of me to make sure I was real. I step out of his reach as he turns and vomits everywhere, as he keeps of vomiting until there was nothing left in his stomach, that was good as I rubbed his back as the pills and alcohol leave his body. He groaned as his body heaved again and again until there was nothing left. But he was still drifting in and out of consciousness so I had to get him showered. I pulled his body against the wall as I turned the shower onto cold.

He shouts, “Fuck that's cold.” As he sees me, “Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my room?”

“I am the person who just saved your life you douchebag. I'm from housekeeping.”

“Well I didn't ask you to, now leave before I report you to the hotel.”

“I'm sorry Mr Ackles but I'm not going anywhere until I know you're fully awake and alert. Do you wish for me to call someone for you?”

“No, I want you to fucking leave me alone,” as he yelled at me.

“I'm not buying it, you are not this much of an asshole.”

“Well hate to disappoint you, I am and much worse so just leave me.”

I walk out and “shut the door behind you,” he shouted out. I get a cup of hot coffee for him as he tries to stand and falls back down again. He just moans as he knows he wasn't moving anytime soon. I come back and hand him a cup of coffee. He looks at me surprised I was helping him after he was being such a douchebag. “I um, thought you left?” he said in a small voice like the fight had gone out of him. He slowly slips the coffee and was surprised when it was made how he liked it. I sat down on the toilet and just watched him as he was watching me.

His eyes were finally focusing and settle on me and what he saw was incredible. He smirked as he looked at my state as I was all sweaty and my hair was all messed up. My uniform was almost see through when I pulled him in the shower and then got wet as I turned the shower on. But he realised that I looked beautiful as he couldn't keep his eyes off me.

“Is there something you wanted Mr Ackles?”

“No, call me Jensen and what's your name may I ask?”

“Why so you can report me?”

“No, I just would like to know.”

“It's Y/N Y/L/N.”

“That's a pretty name to go with the pretty girl.”

“Oh, please does that work on other girls?”

“You would be surprised how many it has worked on.”

“Will I'm here to tell you, it's the worst pickup line I've heard.”

He chuckles to himself as he can see I'm not going to be that easy. He puts the empty cup down as he tries to stand. He slides up the wall until he was up right. He takes a step as he wobbles so I go to help him.

“I can do it,” he grumbles.

He walks slowly towards the bed as he stumbles and I try to grab him but he falls on  
top of me on the bed. I grunt as he weight lands on me as the wind is knocked from my body. He hears the grunt and looks me in the eyes.

“Oh, God are you alright?”

“Yeah just winded with your heavy ass weight on me.”

“Oh,” as he was about to shift when his hand touches the empty bottle of pills.

He picks it up and just looks at it like it a foreign object. He takes a look at me and his eyes shift down in shame and guilt.  
I lift his head up as I say, “hey it's ok, we all have been where you are. It's nothing to be guilty about. I can see you are hurting I don't know why but it's written on your face.”

As I pulled him down into my arms as he rested his head on my breast as the tears fell onto me. I stroke his hair as he hums in contentment. He moves my hand around to the front of him as he holds it close to his body. He looked like a scared little boy as he curls himself into me. I shift so I'm lying sideways on the bed as he shifted with me. He’s holding me so tight it was frightening how much pain he was in.

I look into his eyes as I slowly kiss his lips it was a soft and gentle kiss as he returned it. There was no heat in it, it was for comfort as he closes his beautiful green eyes as they still glistened with unshed tears.

I hugged him tight to me even though we were both still wet I pulled the blanket I could reach over us to keep as warm. I listen to his breathing even out as he went limp in sleep. I must have fallen asleep as well. There was a loud knock on the door as I startled awake.

The person on the other side was yelling my name. Fuck I thought my boss was on the other side. I moved Jensen carefully but he stirred awake as his hoarse voice asked what was going on.

I whispered, “my boss is outside your door.”

He looked surprised but he moved to go and answer the door.

He opened the door and saw my boss standing there angry and ready to go off the deep in. When he saw Jensen standing in the doorway he stopped.

“Can I help you?” Jensen said.

“Um I'm sorry for being a bother by is my housekeeper in your room?”

“As a matter of fact yes she is. She is helping me with something important. So you fire her for this I will make sure you lose your position here. Are we clear?” In a voice that means he wasn't messing around.

“Of course Sir, she can stay as long as you need her.”

“Good, now find someone else to finished her floors, she is going to be busy with me for a long time, understand,” with a hard edge to it.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Fine now leave me in peace.”

“Sorry for the trouble Sir.”

Jensen closed the door as my boss walked off thinking god he's an asshole. He came back to me and lied back down this time holding me in his arms. He sighs a loud sigh as he shifts to look at me.

“So what did my douchebag boss say?”

“Don't worry he won't be disturbing or harassing you anymore.”

“Why what did you do.”

“I told him if he fired you he would lose his position here as I know the owners of this hotel very well.”

“You threatened my boss?”

“He deserved it he was going to yell at you. His face showed how angry he was and he was an asshole,” in a matter of fact voice.

I laughed to think Jensen told my douchey boss off. He always tried to hit on me and threatened to fire me if I said “no.” I would reply, “go ahead but the owners will find out and your ass will be fired. So after that he backed off but made my life hell.

I was lost in my thought as Jensen spoke. When I didn't answer he turned me to look at him.

“Thank you,” was all he said, as I smiled at him.

“Your welcome Jensen.”

“Ok, don't go getting all chick flickey on me.”

“I wouldn't dream of it.”

He laughs a soft chuckle and rubs my arms. He realised we were still damp from the shower as he gets up and offers me his one of his shirts to wear. I accept it as I undo my work dress and slip the shirt over me before pulling my dress off. He also changed into dry clothes when we were changed he settled back on the bed and motioned for me to follow.

He said,”Guess you want to know why I was barely unconscious and didn't cared if I lived?”

“No, you can tell me when you're ready. I know you're in pain Jensen if talking helps I will listen.”

“Um, I have the perfect life. I sing in front of millions of people, I have a best selling CD, I'm rich I have it all but the one thing I really want?”

“What’s that Jensen?”

“I'm lonely I want someone in my life I can love and be with. My life isn't a easy one with all the travelling and fans screaming their heads off. I would never dream of dating a fan it's inappropriate and unethical. Plus most of them are under age. I was in pain and feeling lost. I didn't see any way out of it. I have no one other than my manager but he's never around. So I spent most of my time alone or at the studio. I miss the contact with people, I want to love someone who will love me for me not the rockstar. I had been drinking all night and into this morning and I think that knocked me around a bit and the pain killers were there.”

“So you overdosed on pills Jensen?”

“I guess I was in a lot of pain so I took the painkillers that were left with the alcohol it helped knocked me out. I wanted the the pain to stop so yes I guess I did.”

“It's ok. Oh by the way Jensen you are never alone. Yes it feel like it but you do have a lot of adoring fans that love you. Jensen how about I offer you something will you take it?”

“What are you offering Y/N?” with a raised eyebrow.

“Help Jensen, you need help.”

“I don't need your help I can do this on my own.”

I said calmly, “Jensen if I hadn't come you would be?” As I left the rest unsaid he looked at me and blinked he knew I was right but he was to stubborn and an ass to ask for it.

“I'm fine you can leave anytime you want to. I don't need you Y/N, just leave me alone,” he shouted at me.

“Fine,” I got up as I looked at him hurt he was pushing me away.

“Oh by the way any of this gets to the media and I will make your life hell do we understand each other.”

“Yes Sir,” as I salute him I picked up my uniform and stormed out with tears streaming down my face. I didn't look back or wanted too.  
I slammed the door on my way out of his room as I heard him said, “Fuck.”

 

Jensen POV 

I sat there looking out the window I knew she was right I needed to talk to a therapist but I didn't want to seem weak and my fans finding out it would destroy my career. What was I going to do. First I needed to find Y/N and apologise but I knew nothing about her or where she lived. I would have to ask her douchebag boss if he would help. I got dressed and ran out the door as I headed for the elevator I hit the down button. I found the Concierge and asked who the head of housekeeping was.

The concierge asked if everything was alright? I shook my head as I headed in the direction the Concierge sent me. I arrived at a door and knocked on it and waited for an answer. I knew this guy was going to be a major dick about this and I will have to sweeten the pot to get the information I needed.

I felt like I needed to find her and it's the only thing I could think about even though my body was on the brink of exhaustion.

The head housekeeper calls out, “enter.”

I open the door and the housekeeper doesn't even look up. He said, “Just leave it there and leave.”

I cleared my throat and said, “Sorry you have me confused for someone else.”

He looked up as soon as he heard my voice and the shocked look his eyes as they bulged out of his head.

“Hello Sir, can I help you with anything?”

“Look I know was an ass earlier but I need to find Y/N, it's important.”

“Sorry Sir, but I'm not allow to give out any private information on staff.”

“Please um, Mr…..,”

“It's Harry Baals Sir.”

“Your name is Hairy Balls,” he couldn't help but hold back a laugh.

“That's not nice pick on someone's name Sir.”

“Hey if the shoe fits your name is fucking hilarious. You aren't going to help me are you?”

He gave me a scowl and said, “No I'm not so get the fuck out of my office, Sir,” with a sharp edge to his voice.

I couldn't help but laugh all the way back to the Concierge’s desk. He looked at me and said, “I see you've met Hairy Balls,” which brought on another fit of laughter from us both.

“I'm sorry but that is fucking funny Hairy Balls.”

“I know Sir, can I be of any assistance?”

“Sure as long as your name is Hairy Balls.”

“No Sir, it's Steve, Steve Johnson.”

“Please to meet you Steve Johnson, I'm Jensen.”

“Yes Sir, I'm a big fan of your music.”

“Please call me Jensen. I was wondering can you help me find a housekeeper by the name of Y/N Y/L/N?”

“I'm not sure just give me a moment. Please go get a drink and I will come find you.”

“Thanks kid you're awesome.”

He blushed as he turned away to go and find my address. He returns to me a short while later as my leg is bouncing with nervous energy. I needed to stay wired so I have been drinking coffee for the last half hour.

I see Steve as I wave him over. Steve sits down as I all but jump on him for the information.

Steve said, “I had to wait until Hairy left to get the information. Here this is where she lives. But please be careful it’s not a good part of town.”

“Thanks Steve I owe you one.”

“Anytime Jensen, we are here to help.”

“Can you get me a car Steve?”

“Of course Jensen, is there anything else you need?”

“No, that’s it. Thanks again.”

I shook Steve’s hand as I left the building to the car that was waiting for me. I gave the driver the address as we took the long way there as the driver explained it was safer. I thought how does anyone live here it’s dangerous as he see a drug deal go down. He hears gunshots as they ring in his ears as the car moves along the dirty pothole street. Clearly this part of the city has been forgotten everyone including the police.

The car stops at a light as a woman comes over to offer her body for money. I cringe to think that she needs to do that. I have never needed a prostitute before as I can get any woman all I had to do was ask and they were more than willing to sleep with a rockstar. We arrived about hour later it was pitch black and you could hear sirens close by. The streets were dirty and covered with garbage as the smell was putrid. I wasn’t sure but I swear something died nearby. I had to hold my breath to keep the bile from rising in my throat as I wished to be anywhere else.

I look around as the driver asks, “Sir do you wish for me to come with you,” as he pulls out a gun for protection.

I looks horrified to know my driver is carrying a gun. The driver said, “it’s ok Sir, Steve told me where we were headed and said to take it for protection that’s all.”

I sigh in relief as I hesitated to open the door. The driver gets out and looks around to make sure it was safe. The street was quiet all but them as he opens the door for me.

I step out into a puddle of water as I curse, the driver couldn’t help but smile as I give him an raised eyebrow and a tight smile.

The driver said, “I shall wait here then Sir.”

“Thank you I won’t be long,” as he shakes his foot to dry it.

I walk up the sidewalk to the building ahead. I was afraid to touch anything incase I caught something. I got out a cloth as I press the button which said my name.

I was growing impatient as I pressed it again and again until she finally answer.

“Who’s there?” I ask.

“Um, it’s me Jensen.”

“Jensen?”

“Earlier today you kind of helped me out.”

“Oh right the douchebag.” I deserved that I thought. “What are you doing here?” she asked me. 

“Can I come in instead of having this conversation on the doorstep please. There are things moving out here and they are eyeing me.”

I had to laugh as I buzzed him in. He sighed with relief as he took the stairs that were falling apart up to my floor. He was careful not to touch anything as he couldn’t believe people actually lived like this.

He arrived at my door as he stood there thinking what he was going to say. He was deep in thought when I opened the door. He looks at me surprised to see me standing in front of him as he hadn’t worked out what he was going to say.

 

Reader’s POV 

“Come in Jensen.”

He was about to say something when he stopped he slowly entered my apartment and was surprised at what he saw. His mouth was agape as he looked around at clean apartment. It’s was immaculately clean considering the rest of the building was dirty and putrid.

He smiles for the first time since entering as he makes his way into the lounge room. He see a nice looking lounge as he looks at the pictures on the mantle.

“Um, Y/N, I need to apologise for earlier I was out of line. You were only trying to help me and I was an asshole.”

“Go on,” I said

“You didn’t deserve what I said your the only person who has shown any compassion for me and I threw it in your face like it meant nothing to me.”

“You know I’m only trying to help you.”

“I know and I’m truly am sorry. Forgive me,” with the best puppy dog eyes you have ever seen.

I laughed and said, “ok, I forgive you. So what now Jensen?”

“Well I’ve been thinking about that.”

I gave him a raised eyebrow when he smirked Jesus he was so adorable.

“I would like you to travel with me as my um companion.”

“What, no we only just met.”

“No, not sexually companion as a friend. I could use the company and I can show you the world if you let me. Plus I need someone to call me on my bullshit. It’s been so long since anyone has ever really been around me.”

“Really you want me I’m just a poor maid I don’t have anything to offer you.”

“Oh but you have already!”

I looked as he comes over and looks me in the eyes. He said in a whisper, “you don’t take any of my bullshit and you see right through me. I need someone like you with me. Your honest and to the point and I promise nothing sexual if you don’t want too that is,” with an added wink to get his point.

I hit him in the arm and said, “your encourageable Jensen.”

He laughed a soft throaty laugh which I could very much get used of hearing.

“I will have to quit my job Jensen. He won’t like be unstaffed.”

“So let him suit me,” with a huge grin. 

“Jensen he’s an asshole. I hate my job there.”

“I know I have meet him. I will sweeten the deal for him he won’t care if you leave. Please come with me?”

“I have my own room and money as well.”

“Of course you will be a paid employee.”

“No funny business either.”

“Scouts honour,” as he puts his fingers up.

“Have you ever been a scout?”

“Will no but you get the idea right.”

“Yes, ok I will come with you for your peace of mind and I wouldn’t mine seeing the world.”

“Really you will come.” I shook my head as he lifts me off my feet and twirls me around. I didn’t realise he was going to react like this.

“Ok, ok Jensen put me down,” he slowly put me back on my feet as we looked into each other’s eyes.

I pulled away while he licked his lips. I knew Jensen Ackles was going to be a problem but it’s it going to be a good or bad problem. Yes how am I supposed to not fall in love with him and his sexy green eyes and that smile. Geez my life is going to change for the better or worse only time will tell.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my story and the kind words and kudos they mean a lot to me. 
> 
> If you wish for a second chapter please let me know?


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